Slippery Slopes

One would think that after so much activity and depriving my brain of oxygen with bubbles and cigarette smoke, I would stay in on Monday night. Still feeling queasy from a week (or two) of socializing and fearing withdrawal- I agree to meet Blind Date at another movie party. I arrive and wait 10 minutes in the snow before he tramples down 6 flights of stairs to greet me. He's cute but it's a bit strange that our first meeting is at one of the most crowded parties of the season. Speaking of the crowd, it's desperately collegiate with script supervisors and DOPs throwing their hands in the air like they don't know how much longer they can remain vertical.

If I'm describing the scene to you, it's because my date at this point is pretty much ignoring me. It's hard to break ice when the room is sweltering with an international crowd. I run into a writer friend whom I adore, initially because of his really cool glasses and eventually because he's so kind to me. I talk to him for quite some time and suddenly my new friend (he's already decidedly a friend) perks up and takes notice. Now it's finally time to make sure I have a drink and ask me where I'm from... enough. This goes on for some time, Cool Glasses Friend leaves, and eventually New Friend wants to leave. I agree and we walk down the 6 flights whilst he tells me about how he narrowly avoided losing his lunch last night in his own stairway.

I step out into the cold and my mind wanders over to the Swede. My pocket buzzes. It's him. He says he's in Mitte- where most people assume that I am, most of the time. I tell him to meet me at the bar I'm standing across the street from. He tells me to join his friends a bit up the street. You buy, I fly, I say. I get there and he seems all too cheery, I'm still feeling a bit woozy so I divert my attention to his brother and best friend- both hilarious and aware that the Swede's and I's situation just got a bit strange. The night before we had wound up sticking to cake and I missed the second to last bus and was offered a corner in the best friend's cold and bad water pressured apartment. I caught the last bus,planting a firm kiss on his mouth and hopping on, Mary Tyler Moore style. Perfect, clear ending and now here I was, waiting for a drink and chatting with all his friends. The best friend starts to leave, the brother too, and the Swede starts to go as well. I'm not accustomed to such abandonement and make it subtley clear. He stays, though I now have my coat on (oh, the awkward back and forth- why, why did I walk up the street when just several hours prior I had solemnly sworn with my heavenly friend NN that I would never be so obliging {Don't Chase Boys, Let Them Chase You said the Valentine's Card my friend D from NYC had sent me}). And now we are staying and I realize how attractive he is for the first time, despite everyone saying so, and also how drunk. He goes on a thinly vieled tirade about the difference between his hometown and this town and how he wishes he could stay. Not for me of course but seemingly to gain control over his life again. At this point I should remind you that he has a girlfriend, a fact I found out the Saturday morning after meeting him Friday for coffee. The therapist in me tugs at my sleeves and I remember my friend NN and I's appeal to not get so invested. So I wait until he's done and then ask him why he's telling me all this. We get a falafel and then I want to go home- the trains have stopped running and it's clear he's too drunk for a taxi. I offer him my spare room and tells me not to treat him like a child. We spend the night together, I try to wrangle out of his embrace but settle for avoiding any real contact- no kissing, no nether-reaching. The morning arrives and the both of us touch ourselves and climax together. I clean my apartment, my intern is coming over today while he tells me about the last time he cheated on someone. We grab a burrito and he walks me to the grocery store. I kiss him on both cheeks and he holds me for too long. I'm smarter than a few days ago and decide to avoid his beestung mouth and avoid putting any alcohol in mine tonight. I'm staying in.

I have to go- I've just gotten an email from a friend who says she dated HA (Handsome Architect) and that he was weird with her. I have to reply as soon as I address the Skype message from a blonde who wants to talk about how awkward our last meeting was- I want to say that awkwardness is normal when you invite someone to "talk" after sleeping with them, after waiting a year to do so and then emotionally skeedaddling to rudely passive agressive territory- I digress- he invited me to talk in a small, crowded office with a flatulating dog.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get back to you about the Swedish band, they're really good- you should book them."